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 Loving in FlowPlaying SmartCatch the Spirit 
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“Susan Perry’s writing is soothing and refreshing.  It’s a book worth any ten on the same subject on the shelves. A thoughtful, stimulating, and potentially dynamite best seller!”

      —Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, Ph.D., author of N.Y. Times bestseller Flow; Director of The Quality of Life Research Center, Claremont Graduate University
Loving in Flow:  How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way is about having someone you can count on to love you no matter how the moods of the day happen to fall.  It shows how couples can exist in a unique “zone,” when the bond between you feels timeless and irreplaceable.  The best relationship is having someone with whom to transcend aloneness in a random chaotic universe, and Loving in Flow proves that real couples with real flaws and inadequacies can indeed find this level of exceptional joy together.

Loving in Flow is based on in-depth interviews with more than three dozen longterm couples who rate their relationships as absolutely top-of-the-line.  The book is filled with insights and practical suggestions about navigating the transitions and crises of a relationship.

Loving in Flow differs from other relationship books: they’re often based on academic studies of college undergrads, or they’re written by therapists about the troubled couples who have come to them, without always knowing what actually worked.  As a social psychologist in the field of positive psychology, I’ve studied and written here about what worksLoving in Flow isn’t a structured program with a set number of rules, but is grounded in gritty and often amusing reality.

A sample of what you’ll find in Loving in Flow:
bulletHow to avoid making the same mistakes others do
bulletWhy it’s best to expose your true self quickly (“Putting Your Best Knee Forward”)
bulletWhy those early “highs” level off so quickly—and what you can do about it
bulletWhy you need good illusions about one another, but why some kinds of illusions are deadly to lasting love
bulletHow to stop the conflict—20 detailed and anecdotal explanations of techniques that work for real people
bulletWhy assuming good will is always the best stance
bulletExercises and rituals that really work to get couples through the toughest fights
bulletHow to recognize “subtle abuse”
bulletDifferent conversational styles that get in the way of understanding and compassion
bulletWhy listening is so important and so hard, and how to do it well
bulletA rare discussion of “what words mean”
bulletHow do you drive me crazy? Let me count the ways—a chapter devoted to how to get along with your partner’s maddening habits
bulletBeyond the chore wars—and why it’s important to talk about your differing perceptions about who does more
bulletHow to keep your sexual relationship vibrant
bulletCrises of all kinds—from kids to illness to affairs—and how to rebound
bulletWhy fairness is crucial and why “communal thinking” is far better than tit-for-tat
bulletWhy always “giving away the ice cream” is best
bulletHow the happiest couples play together
bulletHow to use rituals and novelty to find flow and keep the delight alive

Raves for Loving in Flow

“With wit, intelligence and gut-wrenching honesty, Perry reminds us that the path to real love is often rocky but that the destination is perhaps the most glorious one we can achieve in life.”
      —Robert Epstein, Ph.D., Editorin Chief, Psychology Today

“A work of lasting value on a topic of timeless relevance.  Perry explores the complex nuances of and challenges to achieving intimacy through an in-depth exploration of the experiences of real people. Their stories stick with you and resonate in your mind and heart.  This book [is] an enlightening and inspirational touchstone.”
      —Jeremy P. Hunter, Ph.D., Research Director, The Quality of Life Research Center, Peter F. Drucker School of Management, Clarement Graduate University




Published by Free Spirit Publishing
Buy a signed copy from me!

Table of Contents

  1. Instant Fun
  2. Journal Journeys
  3. Celebrate the Senses
  4. Brain Benders
  5. Adventure in Ordinary Places
  6. Learning Comes Alive at the Cemetery
  7. Playing Around with Photography
  8. Use Your Head: Mind-Challenging Physical Activities
  9. Dirt, Worms, Bugs, and Mud: Kids in the Garden
  10. Mind Snacks: Recipes for Kitchen Learning
  11. The Junior Geographer
  12. Cultural Diversity: It’s All Relative
  13. Behavior for Beginners: A Bit of Psychology
  14. Real Literature: Famous Authors’ Books for Kids

Raves for Playing Smart

“The best family activity book we have seen. Period.”
        —Minnesota Parent

“The beauty of this guide is that most games call for nothing more than two people and two brains.”
        —Working Mother

“Full of interactive ideas...”

“This book should be on every parent’s shopping list.”
        —Dr. Thomas Gordon, Founder, Parent Effectiveness Training

“Parents and teachers have a marvelous opportunity to recreate the planet through the tools we give our children. I really think this book can help.”
        —Whole Life Times

“A remarkable book, a real find!”
        —Martin Greenberg, M.D., psychiatrist, author of The Birth of a Father, member of USA Today’s Parenting Panel

“A terrific book. The activities are original and enticing—with an up-to-date flavor.”
        —Jean Marzollo, author of Supertot, Learning through Play, and the I Spy series.


Catch the Spirit

Published by Franklin Watts

CATCH THE SPIRIT: Teen Volunteers Tell How They Made a Difference is composed of the stories, in their own inspiring words, of 20 teens who found fulfillment while doing something great for their community.   The Introduction talks about what makes these kids special, and the Appendix contains tips for making the volunteering experience a positive one, plus many resources.  The stories include a boy who collected a million pennies for charity; a girl who gave kids in wheelchairs their first astonishing experience on a softball field; a girl who raised thousands of dollars to help others who, like herself, have cystic fibrosis; and a girl whose mom died of AIDS and who nows speaks to groups of young people about how to be safe.  

Included on the “New York Public Library 72nd Annual Books for the Teen Age List”

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